Thursday, March 27, 2014

Remy The Swamp Bat




Once upon a time there was a bat named Remy. Remy was no ordinary bat, for Remy was a swamp bat. While most bats lived in caves and other dark uninviting places, Remy made his home in a very homely and inviting little shack on the Bayous of Louisiana. One of Remy's favorite things was going out on the Bayou in his Pirogue, a small flat bottomed boat he had made right outside of his shack out of old salvaged wood. He'd go out on the Bayou all day, riding down the slow currents of water while he layed in the back and strummed his six string he'd made out of an old cigarette box.
One day was not like the rest though, one day was much more exciting than the rest. Indeed, this day was filled with adventure, something which Remy had no taste nor stomach for. Adventures were just horrid things that made you sweaty all over and made your heart beat fast. This one day started much like the rest, with Remy rowing his Pirogue through the swamp. As he was rowing he found a most peculiar thing, a broken tree with another, much larger boat, sitting next to it. "What da' hel' is dat big ol' boat doin' ova dere?" Remy asked himself indignantly. Intrigued and rather annoyed, Remy declared "I'm gonna git to da bottom of dis', dats right I am, or ma name ain't Remy Etienne Clarence LeBeau, da t'ird." Remy rowed closer to the shore so he could get a better look at the gargantuan abandoned boat. He stooped down and ran his hand along the edge of the boat "Ma Gawd, it looks like a Gayta took a big ol' bite out of dat boat," Remy exclaimed as he took his tall straw hat off and wiped his brow. Remy sighed and said "Well I ain't no courageous fool..." he was cut off by a screeching bird, "Tuat t'en grosse bueche ya big dum' berd, cantcha see I'ma tryin' to say sometin!, now where was I, oh, I ain't no fool, but I guess I'll see if I can find da couillons dat crashed dis thing in da first place." Remy looked for a long time, searching high and low, but all he could find was a few boots and an old rifle. "Dem' must 'ave been some big dum' gayta hunters, bunch of damned couillons dey is, not at all like ol' Remy, I knows not to git near dem gaytas," Remy said as he tugged at his beard. Remy scratched his head when suddenly he heard his stomach growling loudly, "Woo boy, I am right hungry I am" Remy headed back towards his pirogue. "Well dat looks like dat, so I'm gonna git my hide back to da shack and make a roux for sum gumbo, mmmm dat is gonna hit de spot, hehehe," Remy said as he got back on his pirogue and rode back down the bayou to his shack, strumming chords and singing songs about couillons and gayta's all the way.